Pocket Full of Mumbles

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Lizard Spit, High-Water, and Indecent Proposals


..::Updated::..
Saturday, September 1


This past Saturday I was out at Westgate, a local all-purpose community park. What was I doing? Walking of course. I had gotten off from the flower shop early and decided to go for a walk. I do this 4 days a week... even if it rains.

Well, I ended up at my favorite music store first. I bought a bottle of Lizard Spit, half a dozen picks, and a guitar stand. And the owner wanted to talk. A lot. But he's a nice guy so I didn't mind.

Thirty minutes later I'm at the park and I'm disappointed in the fact that it's raining. I reminded myself that it was my own fault for chatting at the music store, but I had my umbrella with me, and decided come drizzle or high-water I was going to get the exercise I came for.

I hit the trails. I figured with the canopy overhead there'd be less rain, but the truth is, within ten minutes I was soaked-- even under the umbrella! Some of the trails are hardened clay... except when it rains. So, after about a half mile of slip sliding away I decide to get back out on the tarmac.

Less than ten minutes later, a sleek red Pontiac pulls up beside me and my umbrella, and the window eases down.

Driver: "Hey! You ever been to Imaginations?"

Me: "Nope. It's not my thing." [as far as I know Imaginations is a nightclub, and as I said: 'Not my thing!']

Driver: "You ever been there? You look like the type."

Me: [I'm thinking: 'Type! What the hell 's that mean!? A bald, frumpy, 40-something looks like 'the type'?'] "No. I don't go to places like that. You need directions?"

Driver: "No. I know where it is, I was just wondering if you liked going there."

Me: "Sorry. Never been."

Driver: [pauses half a sec then asks:] "You want to get in? It's raining you know."

Me: "No thanks. I'm here to exercise come drizzle or high-water" [with that I begin to walk on]

Driver: [Calling out] "Hey!"

Me: [I stop]

Driver: "You ever let someone blow you off?"

Me: [......Huh?] "Wha?"

Driver: "You like getting blown?"

Me: ".....uh... Sorry. Not my thing" [I begin to move off... again!]

Driver: "Hey! How 'bout letting me blow you off!"

Me: "Sorry. Nope. Not my thing. Now scram!" [At this point I pull my trusty knife out and lock the blade open... I've decided to name my knife 'Stig']

Driver: [undeterred] "Come on! How do you know if it's not your thing unless you try it. Come on, get in the car."

Me: [I ignore the driver and begin walking across a grassy area, my knife still open and clearly visible... and yes, it's still raining]

Driver: [Finally drives offs]



To my own shame, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Now why couldn't a woman have asked me that!?"

Come to find out 'Imaginations' is a 'Gay' bar, and like I told the driver... not my thing. No bar is, in fact.

Now perhaps this man (young, black, good-looking-- hitting on a white guy, no less!) was a cop looking to bust him 'a pre-vert, but I have to ask: what kind of pervert asks that kind of a question in the first place? Who cares if he's a cop! To ask that kind of a question! What kind of sick mind thinks talking that way-- even to entrap --to another man?

And it happened in poe-dunk Alabama! And if it's happening here, imagine the degree to which it happens in the rest of the country! Hell! The WORLD!

For the record. I finished my walk completely freaked. And when I approached a police officer at the park, I was told that because I didn't have the presence of mind to get his license plate number (didn't have a pen anyway), there was nothing he could do.... snickering while he said it.

And for the record, Idaho Senator Larry Craig must resign immediately.



Update: It's unusual that I have a Saturday morning off... very unusual... pert near never... anyway...

Out at Westgate Park again, this time without the rain, but all kinds of gray overhead, and a nice cool-- as in Fall-ish --breeze. Right at the end of my walk I end up next to where a security guard is parked, so I ease over and ask him about last Saturday; did anyone else report being propositioned.


Security Guard: "Black guy? Six-two? Driving a red Monte Carlo?"

Me: "I thought it was a Pontiac... but yeah."

Security Guard: "We had several complaints about that person."

Me: "Was he an undercover officer trying to grab some perverts?"

Security Guard: "No. Not this guy. The police got called a bunch of times last week, and it wasn't until someone with a camera on their cell phone took a picture of the Queer, and a picture of his tag. The police rounded him up. If it ever happens again, make sure you get the tag number so we can do something about this kind of thing..."


And yes, the Security guard really said 'Queer'. Score one for the good guys.

42 Comments:

Anonymous BenT - the Unbeliever said...

This is what living in a multi-sexual society is like EL. I imagine attractive women get these sorts of propositions all the time. You just did it for that dude.

If gays and lesbians had the prospect for the same sorts of stable relationships that heterosexual people have, maybe this guy wouldn't have been cruising Westgate Park looking for a one-time encounter.

Though probably not. Look on the bright side in this person's eye's you were alluring. Maybe even beautiful. That has to be a boost to the ego for someone exercising in the rain.

August 29, 2007 11:32 PM  
Anonymous BenT - the Unbeliever said...

Your last sentence though is what I am more interested in. "And for the record, Idaho Senator Larry Craig must resign immediately." In reading the comments on Michel Malkin's site I noticed that conservatives generally hold one of three reasons why they think Sen. Craig should resign.

1. He's gay. Reason enough. Ewww!
2. He wanted to do it in a public bathroom. Ewww!
3. He's a hypocrite. He was gay and voted against gay right to help hide his secret.

Do you favor one of these? Or is there some other reason you think Sen. Craig should resign?

August 29, 2007 11:36 PM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

Every sound-bite I've heard shows Mr. Craig steadfastly denying he's gay.

As to your 3: "none of the above"

Mr. Craig is both irresponsible and displays poor judgment, both of which speak volumes to the fact that he cannot be trusted with ANY decision that affects the state of Idaho, or this nation as a whole.

Even if Craig IS innocent, as he claims, he clearly acted provocatively enough to get himself arrested by an undercover police officer. Add to that the fact-- assuming he's telling the truth --that he plead guilty to a lesser offense to hush up the whole lurid affair, and this especially is reason enough to question the man's judgment-making skills. At the very least he's an embarrassment to the GOP.

Republican Duke Cunningham had the decency to resign, but I reckon Democrat William Jefferson isn't cut from the same bolt of cloth...

Nor is Barney Frank, for that matter. Or former Rep. Gerry Studds, former Rep. John Young, former Rep. Fred Richmond, former Rep. Gus Savage, Senator Daniel Inouye from Hawaii, and let's not forget Senator Ted Kennedy... all Democrats, all of whom should have resigned DESPITE their party's defense and investigatorial obfuscations of their fellow party members misdeeds.

Serving in either house of Congress, as a member of either/any party is a rare privilege. Such men and women are chosen to represent their respective states and/or constituents, not their own penchants for personal gain... or expression. This is what's wrong with government today. States and Districts which allow such people to keep their seats deserve all the poor and self-serving decisions these men and women make.

August 30, 2007 1:10 AM  
Blogger D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

"This is what living in a multi-sexual society is like EL."

You see, El...that makes it all okay, you know? Because we live in a "multi-sexual" society, anything goes.

Don't you know ANYTHING, EL?

Sheez!

August 30, 2007 2:29 PM  
Blogger D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

God forbid BenT ever calling down someone who represents the values he wishes upon us all.

August 30, 2007 2:29 PM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

I had a similar situation years ago. Quite unnerving. Didn't have a knife at the time, but was poised to dent his windpipe. Glad I didn't have to. Also wished it was a chick. Not at all ashamed to say so. Doesn't mean I would have gone with her...OK...I was still in my twenties, I would have gone with her. Seriously, I wouldn't, but for the possibility that it was a set up, not for any higher reason.

August 31, 2007 1:24 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Flower shop?

I was propositioned a couple of times by gay men when I was in my twenties. One was dressed in drag, and pretty convincing. I thought he really was an attractive woman until he spoke. Neither one were so persistent. I just told them I don't swing that way and they left me alone.

I have a unique perspective on the Larry craig case. But it's much too long to discuss here.

August 31, 2007 7:57 AM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

Yes. I deliver flowers in the morning, and news in the evening.. albeit from behind the camera. I have two jobs.

August 31, 2007 8:09 AM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

"All work is honorable."

-Kwai Chang Caine

August 31, 2007 7:59 PM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

"When you can take the pebble from my hand..."

--Master

August 31, 2007 11:07 PM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

"Wax on, wax off..."

--Miyagi-san

August 31, 2007 11:08 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

"Of course, in Alabama, the Tuskaloosa."

- Groucho Marx

September 01, 2007 7:09 AM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

Thanks a lot, Mark. Now who's gonna clean up the Dr. Pepper I just spit out on my monitor??!!

September 01, 2007 11:34 PM  
Anonymous Solomn said...

Glad he was rounded up. But I'm perplexed- why on earth would you think he was a cop rounding up "perverts?" Even if you said hell yeah, let's get it on, you'd be committing no crime as long as you went and did it somewhere private. He was the one harassing people, and deserves getting hauled in.

The "queer" comment is regrettable and unprofessional, but at least he wasn't a law enforcement official.

September 03, 2007 10:57 AM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

Actually, there have been a number of complaints about sex solicitation at this particular park. And as it's THE major 'all sports rolled into one' 8-900+ acre complex, the city has manned a few 'stings' there. To give you an idea of how big this place is (for south po-dunk Alabama) the walking trails alone, that follow 90% of the overall boundary of the park, is 3.5 miles.

The security guard was a typical "good 'ole boy," and reflects the sentiment of a good many Dothan-ians and area residents.

September 03, 2007 1:26 PM  
Anonymous Solomon said...

On another topic, have you seen Letters from Iwo Jima yet? I just rented it and it was abolutely amazing. Ditto for Flags of Our Fathers, the companion pic also directed by Clint Eastwood, but thought you might like Letters because you seem to have an interest in Japanese culture and history.

September 03, 2007 6:09 PM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

"Queer"??!!! Don't they teach their security people anything about political correctness??!! The outrage!!!

sarcasm ended.

September 04, 2007 7:36 AM  
Blogger Dan Trabue said...

So, being polite is being "politically correct" and is something to be mocked? You're probably right, you fascist rightwing nutjob. We'd all be better off if we just called one another offensive names, you braindead goose-stepper...

sarcasm ended.

September 04, 2007 8:31 AM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

QUEER (kwîr)
adj. queer·er, queer·est

1. Deviating from the expected or normal; strange: a queer situation.
2. Odd or unconventional, as in behavior; eccentric.
3. Of a questionable nature or character; suspicious.
4. Slang Fake; counterfeit.
5. Feeling slightly ill; queasy.
6. Offensive Slang Homosexual.
7. Usage Problem Of or relating to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, or transgendered people.

n.

1. Offensive Slang Used as a disparaging term for a homosexual person.
2. Usage Problem A lesbian, gay male, bisexual, or transgendered person.

----------

In terms of it's use as an advective, people who engage in homosexuality do: Deviate from the expected or normal.

They are, in terms of the norm: Odd or unconventional, as in behavior; eccentric.

They are, in terms of the norm: Of a questionable nature or character.


No Sarcasm employed.

September 04, 2007 1:48 PM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

Solomon-- Yes, I'd like to see the films you've mentioned, but just can't seem to find the time. I've deliberately avoided "Memoirs of a Geisha" simply because the book was so amazingly wonderful, despite being fiction... Clint Eastwood was a middling actor until his later years, but he's always been a great director.

September 04, 2007 1:51 PM  
Anonymous Solomon said...

MA, I anticipated the PC charge, but I'm really not being PC. I jokingly use offensive language like this (and worse) all the time. I just expect more in a professional context. No outrage, tho I'd be a little pissed if it came from a police officer rather than a security guard.

September 04, 2007 2:17 PM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

Indeed, Solomon. I've seen only two types of security guards: Those who know what the job is and what they are,

and those who think they're some kind of hard-bitten, forged from life on the streets, 1940's noir hard ass cop wanna-be.

The former are usually the more professional.

September 04, 2007 10:15 PM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

Double indeed, Dan!

Eric beat me to it, but the term is appropriate. Too damn bad if the "homosexual gentlemen" have difficulty facing facts. Even more so for those who defend their decisions, but should know better.

September 04, 2007 10:17 PM  
Blogger Dan Trabue said...

So, too, are my terms appropriate, baby killer. You endorse genocide, you monster monkey. That's fairly fascist, rightwing (according to you) and truly nutty, you ... boogerhead. (sorry, I'm not so good at this embracing rudeness. I'll keep working on it you puppy-murderer.)

September 05, 2007 5:19 AM  
Blogger D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

"So, being polite is being "politically correct" and is something to be mocked?"

Yeah...let's be polite to every pervert we meet. Heck...we may convert them into normal human-beings!

Jerry Lewis Rocks!

You know...it really IS unfortunate that a group of perverts could disrupt and taint such a great cause as the telethon over a little three-letter word.

If only GOOD people could get so outraged over the REAL insults towards decency!

Personally, I wouldn't have apologized.

September 05, 2007 7:51 AM  
Anonymous BenT - the Unbeliever said...

It doesn't matter whether you think homosexuality is a choice or a genetic trait. Queer is a derogatory term. You don't call all fat people porky, or blimpo whether they're overweight by choice or genetics. And you try not to use the word fat either, if you're polite.

September 05, 2007 10:53 AM  
Blogger MSU gal said...

There is something about musicians
that attracts...well just about everybody.

Try to keep your mikestand out of sight next time or someone will try to pic you up

:)

September 05, 2007 1:01 PM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

'Queer' IS derogatory... when used as a noun in reference to those of the homosexual persuasion. As an adjective, however, it accurately describes homosexuality and those of the homosexual persuasion.

Call me 'Fat' and I just may get angry, but I'll know you're right however much it hurts. But call me 'Portly' and I'll know you're only saying it to be polite... which makes me just as angry.

For anyone who cares... I've lost 30 pounds in the last 10 weeks. How I'm doing it while on medication that inhibits weight-loss is for another post. 30 lbs down, and another 70 to go.

----

"Why is it that no matter what we're trying to find, it's always in the last place we look?"

September 05, 2007 1:46 PM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

Thanks MSU gal, you ALWAYS bring with you a breath of fresh air, and ALWAYS a sight for sore eyes. I'll make sure the mic-stand is safely tucked away next time-- I don't need anymore erstwhile groupies.

I'm just glad he was arrested.

September 05, 2007 1:53 PM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

Oh gee, my feelinz is gettin' hoit!

Nice try Dan. I'm unaffected by the taunts of one who has such a hard time understanding, well, everything. And overall, I'm unaffected due to knowing who I am, and knowing so regarding the good and bad. You can't call me anything worse than I've called myself. Of course, YOU'RE attempts are extremely lame seeing as how you deny the logic of my position on those things you call "baby killing". Nevertheless, your lame attempts to shame me from what is reality and truth doesn't change the reality and truth of who and what is queer.

September 05, 2007 11:17 PM  
Blogger Dan Trabue said...

Well, I reckon one would have to have a sense of shame in order to be shamed, wouldn't one?

But one who claims to Christianity who enjoys taunting others and calling them hurtful names appears to have hardened one's heart to any sense of shame. Or so it would seem.

I was merely making the point. Having any sense of regret about your inconsistencies and hypocrisies is up to you.

September 06, 2007 5:25 AM  
Blogger D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

"But one who claims to Christianity who enjoys taunting others..."

Clean the hairspray off your own mirror, Dan. You are obviously having a tough time seeing yourself in any kind of perspective.

Funny...you pointing out splinters with a HUGE beam in your own eye.

Mirror, Dan. You think a lot of yourself...take a look at yourself!

September 06, 2007 6:56 AM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

Marshall said: "YOU'RE attempts are extremely lame..."

uh... that's "YOUR", not "you're" which is the equivalent of "you" + "are". "YOU ARE" attempts makes no grammatical sense. Sorry to be nit-picky.


Dan said: "...one who claims to Christianity who enjoys taunting others..."

uh, You just entered "Pot & Kettle" territory on that one. And...

"Having any sense of regret about your inconsistencies and hypocrisies is up to you."

Daddio kindly handed you a mirror. It would behoove you to study your own 'reflection'-- as in how you are reflected in the world --for a change. It could only do you good. Splinters, Beams, and all that...

September 06, 2007 8:14 AM  
Blogger Dan Trabue said...

Dan said:

"...one who claims to Christianity who enjoys taunting others..."

Eric said:
uh, You just entered "Pot & Kettle" territory on that one.

I am, without a doubt, a sinner in need of God's grace, as well as that of my brothers and sisters. It would be a help then, in this particular case, if you can point to where I've "enjoyed taunting others and calling them names..."

I mean, I did so facetiously earlier to make the point that we ought not engage in childish and hurtful name-calling as a matter of politeness. But generally, I try to avoid this behavior.

If you can point out where I have done so, you will be a help to me. If you're just bearing false witness, well, then that's a matter for you to deal with.

I suspect that you're talking about how I disagree with you and others. Disagreeing is not the same as taunting and name-calling, though, as you know.

September 06, 2007 8:21 AM  
Blogger Dan Trabue said...

You might be able to make the case that I have taunted others who disagree with me. I may fairly be accused of doing so.

Generally, though, that would be after several personal attacks and the twisting of my words or the bearing of false witness towards my positions... In those circumstances, I will sometimes use ridicule or sarcasm to deal with the hostility.

To the degree that I may have done so wrongly, I would apologize. Of course, Jesus used sarcasm and ridicule in his rebukes sometimes (in response to attacks upon him), so it might depend upon the circumstances.

Show me ANY example of me being sarcastic and taunting towards others unprovoked and you will have my heart-felt apologies. If you're unable to do so, then you might want to reconsider the accusation.

September 06, 2007 8:28 AM  
Blogger mom2 said...

Show me ANY example of me being sarcastic and taunting towards others unprovoked and you will have my heart-felt apologies. If you're unable to do so, then you might want to reconsider the accusation.
September 06, 2007 8:28 AM>

Dan, you have been on so many sites and rambled around in circles so much that any normal person would prefer to just ignore you and go on.

September 06, 2007 12:53 PM  
Anonymous Solomon said...

All due respect everybody, Dan has been pretty damn civil and fair-minded. More so than anyone I can think of who comments on this blog, including me.

September 06, 2007 1:04 PM  
Blogger mom2 said...

If you call civility, asking the same questions over and over and rejecting any and all answers, dragging out the bearing false witness bit, telling others that he adjures you in the name of Jesus to stop such and such, then starts the victim thing about how misunderstood he is and how vicious we are because we can't understand his gobbledegook, well Dan is civil. He is NOT a seeker. He is seeking whom he may devour with his brand of interpretation. He longs to be validated. We have the right to reject his interpretation and he certainly does ours, so there you have it.

September 06, 2007 2:52 PM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

For the record, I'm an unabashed mocker and dealer in sarcasm and ridicule. (Sometimes, in those rare moments of high frustration when conversing with idiots, I'll even dish out an tasty ad hominem.) All in all, I'd prefer if everyone endeavor to avoid taking their selves too seriously. Good gosh, Danny, you wouldn't last a second in my world if a few taunts get your panties in such a bunch. Lighten up a bit.

Anyway, as Eric pointed out, the term "queer" is appropo when applied to homosexuals. Many of them love the term. By now, however, I'm sure you MUST have seen me say that I generally won't use such terms because I resent that "community" commandeering the language as much as I resent their attempts to commandeer the culture. "Gay" only means happy, "Fairy" only refers to mytical magical characters, and "Faggot" is a bundle of sticks. I prefer to only use the clinical name or in discussions on blogs, the abbreviated version "homo" or "homosex" for the behavior. That anyone should shrink from the use of such clinical terms or their truncated alternatives is a reflection of some problem with the listener, and they should seek help for that.

"uh... that's "YOUR", not "you're" which is the equivalent of "you" + "are"."

I KNOW I KNOW!! Quickly! Get me a proof reader!!

September 07, 2007 1:01 AM  
Blogger Marshall Art said...

"...I'll even dish out A tasty ad hominem..." Where's that proof reader??!!!

September 07, 2007 1:03 AM  
Blogger Dan Trabue said...

I'm quite fine with sarcasm directed my way, Marshall. It's the lies, strawmen and twisting of words that I object to.

And even then, it's not so much that I care about people lying about me (what do I care what a bunch of strangers think), but rather the damage that such behavior does to the common conversation.

And the name-calling is just silly.

September 07, 2007 5:51 AM  
Blogger ELAshley said...

There's a lot of co-opting and "privatizing" of language these days.

Only Blacks are allowed to use "Nigger" and only Gays are allowed to use "Queer"

The rest of use are just too culturally insensitive ... cultural Neanderthals... to use these words. There are other examples but I'll leave those to you.
[
There's a lot of language Democrats are allowed to use but demand immediate crucifixion of any Republican who dares utter them....]


By the way... Touché, Mom2!

September 07, 2007 8:31 AM  

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