The Immortality Device

Freddie Mercury crooned, "Who wants to live forever?" And in context of the songs use as theme-music, as long as living forever doesn't involve cutting off the heads of other immortals I'd be fine with it. But at what price immortality?

--$180.00 [including shipping]


Hmmmmmmm.

Of special interest, is the inventor's return policy...

"I understand that the inventor, Alex Chiu, guarantees me that if I am not satisfied with the Eternal Life Device for any reason, I am allowed to get a full refund within 90 days, starting from the date of the purchase..."

uh... It's an Immortality device. So, how exactly am I going to know it's working, as advertised, in a mere 90 days? Perhaps to the inventor of this miracle device-- as with God --'A day is as a thousand years...'

Well, if that be the case, 90 days for immortals must be 90,000 in human years.

I think my Visa will expire long before that date. Will the bank that issued the card still be around? Will Money still be something men (or whatever passes for humanity 90,000 years from now) still be using money? There are just too many unanswered questions here, not the least of which is, "How much immortality can anyone really buy for $180?"