It's a quarter to 2 and all is better, if not whole...

Yesterday was a very rough day. 1 cup of oatmeal with stevia for breakfast, oodles and gobs of suppliments like vitamins, minerals, cinnamon, garlic, royal jelly. Spanish mackeral and green beans for lunch, and a burgeoning headache/migraine(?), and nothing else the rest of the day. For most of yesterday afternoon I felt ready to throw up at a moments notice; Praise God the graphics were light, and I had help from Jonathan.

I had to call BenT at one point to ask how to create a keyhole in a page graphic so that moving video could be inserted into it... he sounded like he had just crawled out of bed. But when it became apparent I would not be able to continue on through the Ten, BenT was not answering the phone. so Jonathan called in the new guy, Nick-- two weeks new. I hope they got on alright.

It was straight to bed at 7... No dinner, nothing... Just too much pain. And here it is, now 2am, quaffing down water, suppliments, praying and reading, and this is the very first passage I stumbled upon...

Psalm 38
(A Psalm of David, to bring to remembrance.)
O LORD, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. For thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore. There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness. I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long. For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart. Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee. My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me. My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off. They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long. But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth. Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and in whose mouth are no reproofs. For in thee, O LORD, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God. For I said, Hear me, lest otherwise they should rejoice over me: when my foot slippeth, they magnify themselves against me. For I am ready to halt, and my sorrow is continually before me. For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin. But mine enemies are lively, and they are strong: and they that hate me wrongfully are multiplied. They also that render evil for good are mine adversaries; because I follow the thing that good is. Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me. Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation.

I can't imagine anyone is foolish enough to think I don't recognize my own sin. Like Bunyan's Christian, I am very cognizant of the burden I often choose to carry; a lot of times forgetting that that burden was removed at Calvary. Sometimes in moments of faithlessness I also take that burden up, but the Lord continually reminds me that it is no longer mine to carry. And I praise Him for it.

In regard to the most recent-- and seemingly ongoing --debate here I do not get any word from the Lord that I have been wrong in terms of message, but I get a sense that I've been somewhat insensitive. And for that I apologize. The message, however, remains. God is asking, out of great love and personal sacrifice, that every man and woman caught in the lie that is homosexuality to come out of Sodom, metaphorically speaking. Come out and find favor with God before it is too late. Come find Him while He may yet be found.

He doesn't promise anything so banal as fame and fortune in this life. But what he does offer is beyond calculation in terms of eternity.