In Memorium -- Sandra JoAnn Brown Bell

This woman was a surrogate mother to me at a time when my own mother lived hundreds of miles away. I haven't seen Mrs Bell in nineteen years-- when I left Panama City. It's been eighteen years since I've seen James, her middle son, and the closest thing to a best friend I had at the time (though I was not his best friend)... and now, come to think of it, his cousin Stephanie was a better friend to me.

Mrs Bell fed me, paid for trips to the movie, and genuinely cared about my well-being-- yet I was not her son. The running joke at the dinner table was,

'Eric? Would like some tea?'

My nose would curl upward in disgust and everyone would laugh. Curiously, I absolutely love tea now.

I have thought of her often over the years but never made an effort to get in touch. I wish now I had. I would like to have been able to express my gratitude to her. The only thing I can do now is send flowers and seek to thank those who are still here-- other friends who have helped to shape the man I've become; people whom I would not wish to see depart this world without knowing the impact they had on my life and that I still think of them. The best I can do now, however, is send flowers.

I don't expect my acknowledgement to inspire her sons to make contact with me. I'm not even sure I'd know what to do with such a contact... for we are certainly moving in opposite directions.

My heartfelt prayers and condolences go out to her family.